"Am I disabled enough?" A neverending thought

 Hi!  

Have you enjoyed my latest post where I attempted to apply basic LLM concepts to summarize, paraphrase and translate a block of text?  

See LLM Project 1: Translating, Summarizing, and Paraphrasing (using T5)

I'm going on a summer break soon so I thought I'd take a bit of a break from coding and generative AI and focus on a topic related to neurodiversity!  This time, I'm going to share my thoughts on my personal experience going back and forth wondering whether I'd be... disabled enough to call myself disabled?  If you're interested in the discussion about whether autism is a disability check out a previous post:  Is autism a disability?

I was inspired by a YouTube video by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (Am I disabled enough ft. Hannah Witton) and their experiences with that same dilemma.  It seems that it's a very common sentiment and I've also met people in my own life that share that same feeling about themselves.

When it comes to myself... I feel conflicted.  Mainly because on one hand I am able to live an independent life for the most part.  I live on my own while renting my own property, have a full-time job, and I do have close friends and family.  In my every day life, I don't particularly feel like there's a noticeable difference between my life and other presumably neurotypical and/or able-bodied acquaintances.  

However recently I took an exam that affects my future career prospects.  Back when I was in the middle of booking this exam, I was going through the website for information about accessing reasonable accommodations... and they didn't offer the exact accommodation that I needed which was extra time in exams.  When I was first diagnosed as having specific learning difficulties, the psychologist stated that extra time WILL BE REQUIRED in any written exams so the exam provider strictly prohibiting the request of extra time in exams... made me nervous. 😰  (If you want to read more about specific learning difficulties, check out: Unravelling the mystery of specific learning difficulties) Still me passing this exam is a requirement for future promotions, so I scrolled through any other accommodations that the exam provider offered and decided to request the use of ear defenders during the exam so I won't get distracted with people going in and out of the exam room (I suppose this is an example of auditory processing difficulties).  In the end I did manage to book the exam with the use of ear defenders approved and thankfully the exam venue was close to where I live (unfortuately not all exam venues allow the use of ear defenders even if the exam provider approves of it).  I also managed to pass this exam and got a bit of a celebratory allowance from the company I work at, so all's well that ends well!

While I do have to take exams occassionally, it's not nearly as an all-encompassing existance as it used to be compared to my student years.  However I do still experience struggles with specific activities of daily living, most notably shopping, holding a conversation in public spaces (especially with multiple people or in loud spaces), and not being good at consistently make and maintain relationships.  Shopping is diffcult due to an uncomfortable sensory experience that can lead me to have meltdowns (or more accurately shutdowns) if I don't take frequent breaks in between shops.  I struggle to follow a conversation with multiple people since I lose track of the topic, and zone out in the middle of long conversations.  I just sort nod along and respond as little as possible, engaging in my surroundings (or food if it's during a meal) instead.  When it comes to relationships, I do have people I'm close with but most of my friends and family live far away and consistently being active on social media has never been my strong suit so I need to have a rigid schedule to keep in touch with them and if it doesn't work, I'll just lose touch.  

The above instances reminded me that the world is not very accessible and that there is definitely a component of our temperament relative to the rest of society disabling us regardless of whether the condition itself is life-threatening.  It could also be noted that anyone that doesn't identify or suspect themselves as having a disability would rarely, if ever, even think about what can be considered a lack of consideration.  

I remember a conversation I had regarding neurodiversity (although I didn't "come out" at this point) and someone mentioned that they could be neurodivergent but is afraid to be looked down on because of it.  As a response, another person said "it's fine to be a bit quirky if you're not a bother to anyone."  This phrase may have been meant as a reassurance but I personally found it an ableist and honestly offensive response.  Sure I don't recommend intentionally going out of your way to bother other people but the fact that this person said being a bother to other people is the  line between a "quirk" and a disability bothered me.  Surely the line would be whether the person is living a reasonably healthy life, or at least can have opportunities for a good quality of life?  This phrase made me realize the repercussions of an ableist society that 1) judges disabled people by how "able" they appear 2) whether they are a burden on the people around them (and perhaps society as a whole) without considering the wellbeing of disabled people themselves as if they are not a part of the larger human society.  This also disturbed me since disabled people can be considered the largest minority community that ANYONE can be a part of at any given time so discussions about accessibility benefit EVERYONE not just people who are currently disabled.  

Me reflecting on this conversation and thinking about how ableism seeps into the average person reminded me that I'm very much part of the disabled community since anyone that has never considered the possibility of being disabled themselves probably wouldn't even think of this.

Even after all this I still go back and forth in my identity as being disabled because... I can still more-or-less... function without much support, but the fact I still need what's considered to be "special" support in certain situations... means I'm disabled?

How did you all feel about this post?  It may have been a bit ramblier than usual but I hope it gives an additional perspective about the question "Am I disabled enough?"  Please, comment down below because I would love to read your thoughts!

Unravelling the mystery of specific learning difficulties

 Hi!!  Welcome to my blog 😆  

(Disclaimer:  Articles on this blog are based on personal experiences.  For accurate medical, legal, or otherwise institutional information, please refer to sources elsewhere.  Thank you.)

For those of you that have been here before, you may already know that I primarily write about Python coding projects ✊💻  But for this post, I'd like to delve into the neurodiversity aspect of this blog theme once again.  Last time, I wrote an introductory article about autism (officially known as Autism Spectrum Disorder).  This time, however, I'd like to talk about specific learning difficulties.

What are specific learning difficulties?

Specific learning difficulties (SpLDs) is a broad term describing difficulties with specific aspects of learning (e.g. reading, writing, calculations, etc.) that cannot be explained by major cognitive impairments (e.g. intellectual/global learning disability).  

SpLDs are also known by other names including:

• Specific learning disorder
• Specific learning disabilities
• Learning disabilities
• Learning differences

Are these labels just for school kids?

It is fairly common to pick up signs of SpLDs during school when there is a lot more emphasis on learning how to read, write, and perform basic math skills.  But you don't just "grow out" of it.  Some people get diagnosed later in life well into adulthood!  Some people do quite well in school growing up, but then experience difficulties later in life when learning tasks become more demanding.  (e.g. Being able to read and do math would be crucial for paying the bills!!!)  Some people may have done quite poorly in school but not have been assessed due to lack of resources or awareness.  Some people never receive a diagnosis even if they had signs of learning struggles.  It's fair to assume that SpLDs stick around for life.

You mentioned that SpLD is a broad term suggesting some sort of difficulty with learning.  Are there any labels that narrow down what exact difficulty the person can have?

Well... yes.  There are certain terms that may give a better indication of the "specific" difficulty.  The following three are more-or-less consistently used to describe certain difficulties:

• Dyslexia - (Difficulty in reading)
• Dyscalculia - (Difficulty in calculations)
• Dysgraphia - (Difficulty in writing)

It seems straightforward, doesn't it?  In theory, yes. But in reality, not quite. For example, while dyslexia is COMMONLY referred to a difficulty in reading, many people identified as dyslexic can have problems with aspects of writing, being able to tell from left to right, or being able to perform well in math.  Difficulty with writing can overlap with dysgraphia, difficulty with math can overlap with dyscalculia, and difficulty telling from left to right is common among many people with dyslexia, dyscalculia and dysgraphia.  There is also no clear consensus on the definition of dyslexia as well since some describe it as a condition leading to difficulties with general language development.  

There are also certain conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), developmental coordination disorder (DCD aka dyspraxia), or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that are not directly considered to be learning difficulties but can be in certain contexts due to the difficulties with attention, coordination, or communication etc.  There are also conditions such as hyperlexia, the ability to be able to read at an advanced level relative to the person's age or educational background, that are debated as to whether it would be a learning difficulty due to the lack of consensus on what counts or doesn't count as being hyperlexic.  It is fairly common for those with learning difficulties to have multiple diagnoses as well.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th edition (DSM-V), a manual setting a universal criteria of psychological or neurological conditions, no longer includes terms like dyslexia or dyscalculia as diagnostic labels but instead uses the term "specific learning disorder in reading" or "specific learning disorder in calculations" respectively.  

That's why many people are diagnosed as having "specific learning difficulties" with a description of the difficulties the individual experiences instead of giving a label such as dyslexia.

What do you recommend for those with specific learning difficulties?  Are there any tools or strategies that help?  

I think the first step is self-reflection.  It might be helpful to ask:

• Do I/she/he/they struggle with reading, writing, or calculations?
• Do I/she/he/they struggle with learning letters?  Or reading aloud?  Understanding the passage?
• Does it seem to take a lot longer to read/write/do math than other people?  
• Do I/she/he/they have a hard time remembering instructions?  Following steps in order?  Retaining pieces of information?

Asking questions would be useful to narrow down what aspects of learning are particularly difficult.  It might be useful to look for specific strategies that seemed to have helped other people with similar struggles.  When seeking an official assessment, the assessor would ask similar questions so it would be useful to keep the answers in mind beforehand.  

If you have an official assessment, the assessor would hopefully provide specific recommendations tailored to the individual.  Generally speaking, tools and strategies useful for learning include:

• Mind-mapping (Particularly useful for people that struggle with organizing ideas)
• Text-to-speech software (Particularly useful for proof-reading or learning how to read aloud)
• Speech-to-text/dictation software (Particularly useful for those who struggle with writing)
• Calculators or abacus (Particularly useful for those who struggle with mental calculations)

There are many free resources online that you can download.  If you have limited access to the internet, having someone help with mind-mapping, reading aloud, dictating, etc. would be useful.

For those that have an official diagnosis, schools and workplaces may be able to implement reasonable accommodations.  Common accommodations include:

• Extra time on exams
• Breaks during exams
• Extended deadlines for assignments
• Access to assistive technology
• Extra consideration when marking assignments 

  

It would be best to negotiate with the institution as to what accommodations can be implemented.  Different places may have different policies or varying levels of access to the resources necessary to implement the accommodations.

Final remarks:

SpLDs are not the end of the world!  The most important message in life is to take care of yourself and try and fulfill your needs to the best you can!  SpLD is just one thing to consider when living life to the fullest!  Stay safe and stay healthy! 💕

Check out my other blog posts in the archives section.  If you're particularly interested in topics related to neurodiversity and coding, go ahead! 👌  Feel free to leave comments below 😊

References:

• What Is An SpLD? | Helen Arkell Dyslexia Charity
• LDA Types of Learning Disabilities
• Understood - For learning and thinking differences
• Signs of learning and thinking differences in adults
• Oral Language Impairments and Dyslexia - International Dyslexia Association
• The Impact of ADHD on Learning - News Medical
• Dyspraxia | Foundation for People with Learning Disabilities
• Learning Styles & Autism | Autism Research Institute
• Dyslexia and the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) - LD Online
• Annotation: Hyperlexia: disability or superability?
• Dyslexia and developmental language disorder: same or different?